How can we maintain our romantic love?

Romantic love is about passion, intimacy, and connection.  And while much of romantic love is about more than a couple's sexual relationship, we want to focus now on how to keep the physically intimate part of your romantic love alive.  In another article, we'll cover other aspects of romantic love.

How do married couples keep the sexual part of their romantic love alive?

Romantic Love Suggestion #1:  Educate yourselves

Romantic Love Suggestion #1 may sound funny if you've been "doing it" for twenty years, but every one of us has something new to learn when it comes to sexuality. It's especially important to be informed about our own bodies. And shared communication is foundational to mutually satisfying sexuality and romantic love. Your local bookstore and the internet have a wealth of information on sexuality and other facts and suggestions about healthy and exciting romantic love.

Romantic Love Suggestion #2:  Keep the climate positive

Romantic Love Suggestion #2 is about the emotional environment in your romantic love life.  Few things put a damper on lovemaking more than feelings of anger or hurt. Try to address the issues, or at least acknowledge that you'll address them in the near future, in a way that considers the needs of both partners.  Then the sexual part of your romantic love life can continue to bloom.

Romantic Love Suggestion #3:  Prepare yourselves all day long

Romantic Love Suggestion #3 encourages you to be conscious of your interactions in day-to-day life, like greeting each other after a day apart, preparing dinner, or working together around the house.  Think about how you can use both verbal and nonverbal communication to say "I like who you are," "I care about your needs," and "I desire you as a mate."  During these daily interactions, interest and arousal can begin to build, ensuring that your romantic life stays exciting and lively.

Romantic Love Suggestion #4: Deal with obstacles as they arise

For a variety of reasons, sexual desire and romantic love can wax and wane for each of us. Be aware of this fact, and talk together about it. For couples who hit roadblocks in their romantic love lives and can't seem to work their way through them, visiting with a qualified professional such as a sex therapist or a psychologist can be extremely helpful. 

Romantic Love Suggestion #5: Create a pleasing environment

This Romantic Love Suggestion is one way to send a strong signal to your partner that you are interested in pleasuring them and in enjoying intimacy together. Try to get every one of your senses involved in your lovemaking—sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Pay attention to details such as temperature, lighting, scents, and music.  And of course hygiene is a must when it comes to this aspect of romantic love.

Additional Resources:
http://www.healthfinder.gov/orgs/HR2417.htm
http://marriage.rutgers.edu
http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/