What can Solution-Focused Therapy (or Solution-focused Brief Therapy) do for us?

Solution-focused therapy is what, exactly?

Solution-focused therapy, also known as solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT), is a type of couseling that gives clients a chance to say what they want to achieve through therapy.  In other words, solution-focused therapy wouldn't usually begin with a marital problem and then look into the past for ways to address it.  Instead, solution-focused therapy focuses more on a future without today's problem, and helps you find ways to get there.

Solution-focused therapy's (or solution-focused brief therapy's) basic approach is to let a person describe a desired outcome, and then discuss how to create that reality.  In just a few sessions, a solution-focused therapist focuses on what a client is doing right, and how they can capitalize on that strength to be happier in the future.  Solution-focused therapy is based on the idea that the client is the expert when it comes to what works best in their life.

Solution-focused therapy offers my marriage what?

Solution-focused therapy connects well with a point we often make at eHarmony Marriage, and that's the power of a dream.  Solution-focused brief therapy, for example, emphasizes the future, as well as the importance of envisioning ways to overcome difficulties.  Likewise, we talk a lot about dreaming in this program because we believe that having a vision for who you want to be—as individuals and as a couple—has everything to do with how successful and strong your marriage can be.  And solution-focused therapy can help you dream.

So we recommend, whether you explore solution-focused therapy or not, that you and your spouse write a mission statement, a statement of purpose in which you articulate the core values and principles you hold as individuals and as a couple.  Just as companies are guided by their mission statements, you two should have your own mission statement that directs your daily lives and can be used any time you have to make difficult decisions.

Then, just as you'd do in a solution-focused therapy session, talk together about what you each do well to help you achieve this mission you've described.  And then once a year, update your mission statement and chart your course for the coming year together.  Consider what matters most to each of you.  What do you prize, and what do you hope to accomplish?  Making resolutions together creates accountability and a support system, and it can also draw you closer to each other. 

Again, whether you pursue solution-focused brief therapy or not, dreaming together can help you create a joint vision for your future, thereby deepening and strengthening your love.

Additional Resources:
http://www.healthfinder.gov/orgs/HR2417.htm
http://marriage.rutgers.edu
http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/