Rescue your relationship from boredom and distance

Relationship rescue, especially when it comes to closeness in a marriage, is about effort.  If you and your spouse are wondering how to rescue a relationship from boredom, or if you want to rescue your relationship from feelings of distance between you, we recommend cultivating the honeymoon habit. 

Here are some "relationship rescue tactics" that can help you two cultivate the honeymoon habit:

Relationship Rescue Tactic #1:  Forget the fairy tales

Relationship Rescue Tactic #1 may surprise you.  Contrary to the fairy tales we were weaned on, romance always fades. As human beings, we aren’t built to maintain the high levels of feverish passion and romance experienced during the early days of engagement and the honeymoon.  So one part of rescuing a relationship is removing false expectations and simply allowing your marriage to grow into something more mature than it was when you first fell in love.

Relationship Rescue Tactic #2:  Go deeper than the first date

Relationship Rescue Tactic #2 reminds you that a mature relationship doesn't mean you're doomed never to enjoy the romance of a honeymoon again.  In fact, researchers have found that the deepest and most satisfying moments in a couple’s marriage are enjoyed not in the heat of first-love passion, but during the second half of their relationship. This is where the honeymoon habit as the goal of the relationship rescue tactics comes into play.

Relationship Rescue Tactic #3:  Cultivate romantic habits

Relationship Rescue Tactic #3 is all about paying attention to the little things.  It's about giving each other small gifts for no apparent reason.  It's about common courtesies like saying please and thank you. It's about how you greet each other when returning home. If you reconnect with a tender touch or embrace at the end of your day, you set a positive tone for your entire evening together. One of the best ways to rescue your relationship from boredom and feelings of distance is simply to give attention to your interactions with each other.

Relationship Rescue Tactic #4:  Avoid the grocery list connection

When you hear about Relationship Rescue Tactic #3, you may be thinking, “Well, of course we do that.” Don’t be so sure. The vast majority of couples end up with what researchers call the “grocery list” connection: “Did you pick up my dry cleaning?” “I’ll need the car tomorrow.” “What’s for dinner?” If the grocery list becomes the sum of your interactions, then you really will need a relationship rescue.

Relationship Rescue Tactic #5:  Keep love alive daily

Relationship Rescue Tactic #5 is to make a daily commitment to maintaining closeness in your marriage.  Over the years, many couples return to the place of their first wedding trip for a second, third, or fourth honeymoon.  This can be a great idea.  But to rescue your relationship from boredom and distance, don’t wait for an anniversary or special occasion to re-create that special time. Keep love alive—starting today—by cultivating daily habits of romance, intimacy, and even common courtesy. 

Additional Resources:
http://www.healthfinder.gov/orgs/HR2417.htm
http://marriage.rutgers.edu
http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/
http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/mt9718.html